New M.D.

The Challenges of Relocating

By Lauren Eckstein, M.D.

As I have written before, and as many have no doubt experienced, traveling the long road of modern ophthalmic education involves countless personal sacrifices, both large and small.

Many of these adjustments are created by the forced relocation to new educational facilities imposed by the Match system every few years. Frequently, negotiating this process entails a major relocation to a new city or a new state. It has now been a year since I left Los Angeles and moved to Philadelphia, and to be sure, this was initially a very disruptive move for me.

Goodbye, L.A.; Hello, Philly

Although I had grown up in New York, I had completed all of my post-secondary education in California. Having lived there for 15 years — my entire adult life — I had come to embrace California (and Los Angeles in particular) as my adopted home. Aside from my family, who still reside in New York, nearly everyone I knew also lived in California. While I was excited to start fellowship, I had significant trepidation about moving to Philadelphia; or rather, departing Los Angeles. Among my greatest concerns, I was reluctant to leave so many wonderful friends behind and have to abandon my social network.

There were bright spots, however. A friend from internship with whom I had kept in touch during the intervening 3 years was completing her fellowship in Philadelphia. I eagerly looked forward to seeing her again, and I knew that a familiar face would make the transition to my new home easier.

Unfortunately for me, she was soon offered an exciting position in Australia and moved halfway across the world shortly after my arrival. As I had initially feared, I found myself alone in a new city. And as anyone who has faced a similar situation knows, meeting people and finding friends can be challenging.

The Fellow's Dilemma

For many, work may provide a built-in source of friends, but fellowship is an unusual enterprise. As a fellow, one exists in an ill-defined state, simultaneously senior to the residents and junior to the faculty. This overlying hierarchy creates barriers to establishing social friendships that are difficult to overcome. As an alternative, I chose instead to look closer to home.

During my many years in California, I was only infrequently able to return to New York to visit my family. Now just a couple of hours away, I have been blessed to spend time with them every few weeks since my move. Indeed, I have probably seen my parents more in the past year than in the previous decade and I cannot place a value on the importance of this magnificent opportunity.

In addition, staying in touch with the friends I left behind has also proven to be immensely rewarding. However, it has presented challenges. Although many have found e-mail and instant messaging effective for this task, they are not my preferred means of communication. The introduction of Skype as well as the proliferation of inexpensive wireless service with included long-distance coverage has enabled me to span the distance between Philadelphia and California effectively.

A Communications Solution

Committed to sustaining the intimacy of my relationships, I speak often with my friends on the West Coast and we strive to remain in close contact. By contrast, circumventing the time difference between Philadelphia and Australia has proven more challenging. At my friend's suggestion, I finally relented to the tidal wave of social pressure and joined Facebook. While fluid, real-time dialog with her remains difficult, with this instrument, she and I are now able to remain in frequent contact and stay up-to-date with the events in each other's lives.

Although there is no substitute for seeing and interacting with a loved one face-to-face, frequent communication (whether by e-mail, instant messaging or verbal conversation) is an important alternative and an indispensable tool to preserve and nurture relationships across space and time. I am grateful to once again be physically close to my family and I am fortunate to have available the technologies to remain emotionally close to my friends a continent or even a world away. OM