Viewpoint FROM THE CHIEF MEDICAL EDITOR

Seniors Say the Darndest Things

Larry E. Patterson, M.D.

Years ago, I developed a theory about aging. As you get older, your personality remains the same, it just becomes more intensified. The woman who was kind in her youth becomes that stereotypical and unbelievably sweet little old lady. And the man who was a bit cranky as a young adult becomes (We apologize… the phrase here was edited out.—Publisher). Well, you understand.

I love working with older people. Good thing, too. Unless you are a pediatric ophthalmologist or a LASIK-only surgeon, most of us spend the majority of our days interacting with our seniors. They usually bring grateful attitudes to us, along with lifetimes of rich experiences. It's always fun when my schedule actually permits me to take the time to listen to their stories.

But there's just one of me, and a whole slew of office staff who often get to hear the best lines from our senior patients. Here's one from last year, as told to me by my cataract surgery coordinator:

I often enjoy saying things that get a smile out of an otherwise nervous patient. When I was unable to get an IOLMaster reading, I always said, "there's more than one way to skin a cat" to begin my explanation as to why I now had to poke on their eye with an A-scan probe. This line always worked … until I met this patient.

I needed to do an IOLMaster on this sweet little 87-year-old lady. She was very thin, modestly dressed in a long skirt with her gray hair in a bun. She looked like she should be peeling apples in a chair under a shade tree. She simply nodded when I greeted her and, because she appeared quite stoic, I guess I assumed either she was a little hard of hearing or there just wasn't a lot going on in there any more, so I just moved on with my measurements. Well, I wasn't able to get the IOLMaster and began booting up the A-scan.

Upon the making the benign comment about skinning the cat, she very frankly stated, "Yeah, but they still taste the same when you cook ’em." She paused to enjoy the look on my face and then cracked a big grin, began to giggle and then laugh. This taught me two things: (1) her statement was actually an accurate response to mine, because the message was that you end up with a similar result no matter how you get there, and (2) never forget that there is often a very youthful person trapped in an old, wrinkly body sitting in your chair. Since that day, I've never referenced skinning a cat when moving from an IOLMaster to an A-scan. But without fail, I always smile.

I'd love to hear some of your stories, too. We'll share the best ones here in upcoming issues.