Paul S. Koch, M.D.

A Tale of a Wasted Evening

Anyone who has seen the part of me not shown in the photograph on this page knows that I�ve got a good start on this winter�s insulation. When invited to attend a company�s dinner meeting, I go only if I like the speaker; I don�t need the groceries.
So when the Friendly Pharmaceutical Company invited me to a dinner featuring one of my favorite speakers, I went only because he was there. I should have legged it out the back when the speaker confided that I would not enjoy his talk.
�Odd,� I thought. �I always like his talks. Why wouldn�t I like this one?�
Once I was trapped in a seat against the wall I learned he could not give his personal lecture and teach us from his pool of experience. Instead he was contractually obligated to present one hundred fifty (150!) slides put together by the lawyers and marketing people at Friendly Pharmaceuticals.
Apparently, in an overreaction to fears that an off-label use might be mentioned and the company sued as a result, Friendly�s speakers could only use company-prepared and PhARMA-approved content, without alteration or independent comment.
Friendly didn�t need a famous physician at that dinner. Their employees could have read those slides. Their lawyers and marketeering people could have read those slides. Mr. Ed could have read those slides.
It gets worse. The good doctor even had to read dozens of slides that were reproductions of the package insert for the medicines they were promoting. �Good Grief!� as Charlie Brown would say.
The evening was a complete bust, and I still cannot believe that Friendly thought it could get away with dishing out that codswallow.
You�ve Been Warned
If reciting package inserts is the only type of presentation companies can offer, then I think their meetings should come with a warning label. �Dr. X will teach you tonight,� or �Dr. X will read our insert tonight.� I might select the first, but I would definitely hightail it from the second.
I already told my Friendly representative that if I am ever again coaxed to a meeting and have to suffer through a presentation prepared by lawyers, I would hold whomever invited me to that meeting personally responsible for wasting my time. And for that she can easily read between the lines.
That is, of course, unless she brings the horse, and we can talk with Mr. Ed. That would be cool.